Traffic

This was sent as an email to my New Hampster friends, yet I feel it makes good blog material. It's my blog, and I can do what I want.

There is a point to this email, and I will get to it in a moment.

I'm driving along wonderfully this evening when all of a sudden the traffic become nuts to butts on the 16 right before exit 2. It's like this all the way to just before the toll. I call a friend who is way too busy to pick up her phone (ok, so she may have not even been home - whatevah!), so I call my Mom who is now 3000 miles away. She is nice enough to answer her phone when she sees my mobile number. I ask her to log onto WMUR and see if there is anything regarding traffic. There is nothing, but then she starts muttering about calling 511. I ask if she's talking about New Hampshire, because just a moment ago, she was muttering about California. Curiosity gets to me. I thank her and hang up. Well, guess what folks?? 511 is a New Hampshire Department of Transportation traffic alert. There are some kinks to work out as the IVR (Integrated Voice Response - you speak into the phone instead of pushing buttons.....) seems to think "Dover" is the same as "Pellam". Now, I can understand "Dover" and "Durham", or perhaps "Pellam" and "Plymouth", but DDDDover and PPPellam???? Nope. So, when the manvoice realises that isn't going to work, he asks me to enter the first three letters of the town about which I'd like to inquire. Annoyed, irritated fingers don't press the correct buttons, so manvoice gives me a third option. A girl likes it when a man gives her options..... ;) Anywhoo - the 3rd option is to press the route number into the keypad and press #. This sort of works and sort of doesn't. I don't get the 4 or the 16 I'd like. So, back to the main menu, and guess what??? Manvoice gives me yet another option! Press another key for urgent road conditions. After hearing all about the booming metropolis of Manchvegas and environs, I give up and hang up the phone. I was at the toll booth anyway, and traffic was starting to move. Now, if manvoice had just reminded me to take exit 7 instead of exit 9.......

And there you have it.