How do we know

Hello folk.
Been pondering this for a few days, and need to get it out of my head once and for all.
How do we know if we are doing the right things for the right people? I'm a giver my nature. I don't expect anything in return, and always appreciate a lovely gesture either in return, or just because. Since I'm a giver, I'm questioning if I'm giving the right stuff to the wrong people and the wrong stuff to the right people? How do I know what the right stuff is? How do I know who are the right people and who are the wrong people? Sometimes I can tell the wrong person because when I give something, it is received in such a way like the person expected nothing less. They were not necessarily appreciative. It's like, "well yeah, I deserve this because I deserve all, and when do I get more?" Those folks I've pretty much tagged and avoid whenever possible. But what about people I consider good friends, and whom I'm under the impression also consider me a good friend? I give because I want to, not because I want things in return, so when I give something - whether it be time, support, an actual item, etc - and the person is just non-chalant about it, I have to wonder "am I doing the right thing for the right person?" Then people whom I find totally deserving, I feel inadequate in giving anything. Again, these are not material possessions. It could be time, running an errand, making a phone call, giving a hug, etc. Things like that. Because I give to give, I don't stick around waiting for anything in return except maybe a 'thank you'. Are my standards too high? Do I expect too much from people? Especially whom I consider good friends? Oh, and what makes a friend a 'good' friend, and not just a 'friend friend'? I'm at a loss folk. Last week was a good learning experience for me. With the exception of a wee group of people, I spent the majority of my week alone. One person in particular whom I'm questioning the "good friend" status played the part of the good friend, and we've all been told "Actions speak louder than words", but what then, when actions contradict each other? Huh? Again, I'm at a complete loss. The universe still hates me. Just in case I had started to forget, it reminded me this evening when I whacked my head on the coffee table bending down to get my address book from under my chair. Nice goose-egg should greet me in the morning. FU&K the universe. FU&K selfish undeserving people.
I'm done with my rant. For now.